Long Distance Relationship Communication | How To SURVIVE A Long Distance Relationship?
Communication when in a long-distance relationship can be a tricky proposition. You miss your significant other and I'm often asked with clients who are in long-distance relationship, "What should they do?
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The biggest mistake that I see in long distance couples is being overwhelming. One party starts to get insecure and needs too much reassurance or validation and they're so consumed by their significant others life, they're so consumed by the distance, and having to stay connected that they become needy, and they forget to live their own life. A long distance relationship can be a tremendous blessing, so please see it as an opportunity and not as a burden that must be overcome at all costs.
On the flip side it's very important to not have shallow contact and communication with your significant other. I've seen many people talk every day about nothing and their connection dies. Even though they talk every day it becomes burdensome. At the end of the day they're not excited about talking to each other and the relationship kind of falls by the wayside. It's not exciting anymore so to prevent that don't focus on the quantity. Focus on the quality of the interactions. You really want to dig deep and connect in a profound manner with the person that you love and perhaps it'll mean getting to learn more about them and what they value and what they are aspiring for and to have interesting challenging conversations where you guys can really grow together instead of daily talks that can become mundane quite quickly.
To that effect I highly urge you to do as much video calling as you can versus regular phone calls or chats. It's so tempting and easy to communicate via text message or Whatsapp in this day and age and it can kind of prevent you from having those deep meaningful conversations that we were talking about because you're constantly sharing through the day to day the little things the big things and there's no element of surprise. There is nothing exciting left to talk about you're just talking about nothing and you're tapping yourself out very early on out of fear of being disconnected or losing the person you love. So please give yourself and your partner time to miss each other. Just because you're in a long-distance relationship does not mean that this should be overlooked.
It is also very important not to neglect the intimacy aspect of the relationship and I urge you to focus on keeping things spicy and exciting. You have to build up the sexual tension and the chemistry in whatever ways you guys are comfortable with. But at the end of the day you don't want to just be best friends or pals, right? You guys are in a relationship and there needs to be intimate moments that are shaped together.
It's also important to have an end in sight. Long distance relationships cannot last forever. Of course there are exceptions to every rule and I've seen couples live out a very long healthy relationship when living in two different countries and staying together for a decade or more. But that is an exception, not the rule and in most cases if you don't have an end in sight of when the distance will end, you can fatigue and build separate lives and it can be challenging.