How to Create Emotional Safety for Someone with Anxiety- Dealing with Anxiety in Children Part 2/4

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Your job as a parent is not to protect your child from anxiety, but to help them learn to be resilient so that they can be functional and healthy humans. To learn the skills to manage emotions and make good choices, not to just try to make anxiety go away. When you learn how to change your fundamental approach to anxiety, you can create a space for your kids to change their relationship to anxiety - so that they can be healthy, resilient, self-assured and functional.

Kids look to parents to know how to respond to anxiety. Anxiety is not bad, and it’s not something that has to be eliminated. No kid is going to grow up and never have anxiety again because their parents did everything perfectly. Instead parents can teach their kids how to relate to anxiety. Avoiding anxiety and triggers actually makes anxiety worse, not better. And a more helpful mindset is “It’s ok to feel anxious, but we still choose our actions”. This is the foundation for growth.
Physical and Emotional safety are like the protective cover of your greenhouse. This series on helping your child with anxiety depends on your child being actually safe. They aren’t being mistreated, abused, attacked, they have food to eat and a bed to sleep in, and parents who love them. You don't have to be perfect, but if your child is anxious and being abused- verbal, physical, emotional or ****ual abuse- their anxiety is actually quite functional- it’s sending a message that you need to help them be safe, not just make them feel safe when they’re in danger. So if food, shelter, and safety are an issue, make sure to focus on creating that foundation first.

But the really cool thing about humans is that we can face a lot of challenges, difficulties, trauma or hardship if we just have one thing.
Emotional Safety
The number one thing that creates emotional safety is connection. Your relationship with them is like the protective cover of a greenhouse, it creates the environment where growth is possible. Just like a tiny seedling, your child was helpless as an infant and depended on you 100% for their safety and survival. Children are hardwired to seek connection with their parents and they rely on that connection to determine if they feel safe or fearful. Your connection provides warmth while they face challenges and grow.

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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschris....t.org/comeuntochrist

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
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