Money Issues in a Relationship

http://www.DrKarenSherman.com

No doubt, you've often heard that money issues in a relationship is one of the top conflicts between couples. Based on my own work, as well as the research of others that I've either read or heard in conferences, it's important to understand what's beneath these money matters so you can improve your relationships.

A main point to know is that money is symbolic. Though you and your mate are arguing about money, it's really a dispute about what the money represents for each of you. Money can mean different things to different people. For example, it can stand for control, security, power, or self- esteem.

Considering what significance money holds for you, your spending will vary. These beliefs as well as the consequential habits about how you allocate your funds, have been learned from your childhood. Interestingly, you may not even be aware of what or where these beliefs came from. Just like any other variation in upbringing for the two of you, if there are differences in your money styles, there are likely going to be conflicts regarding money in your adult relationship.

By coming to a better understanding of your personal needs and those of your mate, it will allow you the ability to communicate more effectively about money matters. Additionally, you will be able to have a better grasp on money management and long-term planning.

Unfortunately because some couples have different styles and don't feel comfortable being open with one another, they end up in a situation of financial infidelity. Money matters aren't disclosed, communication about finances become secretive, and trust is broken.

You do not necessarily have to account for every penny with one another; you don't even have to have only one joint checkbook. What matters is that you set some system up that both of you agree upon that works for the two of you and you then keep true to it.

A presenter at a conference I was at offered the following pointers as guidelines:
1. Make a budget
2. Discuss shared goals for saving
3. Decide how much you want to give away.

Notice that these suggestions focus on commonality and being positive. You don't have to have money issues in your relationship.

Hmm ... good concept for Empowered relationships in general!